Dating a hiv person
Taking care of your health is more adult than playing house with a boyfriend, yet, even though I had been tested for STIs, I had never thought of getting an HIV test.
But one day, randomly, I added the HIV rapid test to the list of things to do before intake to my pap smear appointment.
When a person goes on treatment — I take one pill a day — undetectable is the goal.
Staying on treatment and keeping my viral load at undetectable levels means that I'm going to lead a long healthy life.
Shame and fear was a part of it, but even more so I think there was a part of me that wanted to pretend that HIV hadn't happened to me.
That I could go on bad Tinder dates and laugh about them at brunch with my friends, get set up with friends, and pick up a guy when I was out for the night, just like everyone else.
It woke me up and made me realize what I needed and wanted from a partner.
I had no type, no goal, really, and a bad one-night stand was just as much as fun as one that turned into a mini-romantic fling.
I naively thought I was invincible, that one day a hookup would lead to true Disney princess-style love, and never assumed that HIV would have anything to do with my life.
It feels like I have to twist someone's arm to see past my HIV viral load.
is not the greatest pick-up line, and it's certainly not great for my self-esteem.