Dating again as a single parent
Which leads on to…It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing you have to explain how you came to be a single parent.
In the early stages of dating, that’s really none of anyone’s business. Know anyone you meet will be lucky to get such a fabulous two, three or however-many-it-might-be-for-one deal.
Because of the stigma surrounding single parents and myths I was believing at the time, my subconscious told me I would have more luck keeping my profile baby-free. On my first date after being pregnant, dumped and giving birth – when my self-esteem had hit rock bottom – I sat opposite a man who visibly quivered when I revealed I was a mum and compared my child to his ongoing battle with Crohn’s disease.
This should be done with the intention of continuity.
Mr Dennis Odoi, a child psychologist with World Vision emphasises that children shouldn’t get to know about the parent’s date until the two decide to get married.
He says, “Parents should know that there are two or three most important things children need; stability and security.” These two are perceived by children only in the way their parents relate and the presence or absence of the above will determine if children grow up with self esteem and confidence or are emotionally stable.
This way, children will not be threatened because they too have friends and understand the concept of friendship.
The children should also create rapport with this new person without actually knowing that she or he may be their step-parent in the near future.
I now realise that my family is something to celebrate, rather than hide, and that the right person will recognise this also.