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When I call the restaurant to make sure I'm not aiding and abetting teen delinquency, the woman who picks up seems annoyed I would even ask.

'' No, we're a family restaurant,'' she says.

One senior in Chicago, who'd been dating the same girl since sophomore year, told me that none of his friends want girlfriends and that he's made to feel like a ''loser'' because he's in a relationship.

They were planning to go over to Jesse's house and ''mess around.'' As Jesse explained it, Adam told Caity he didn't want a relationship, and she replied that that was fine, she didn't want one, either. '' Caity told me, ' Adam knows he's not going to get in my pants, but I might get into his.' For now they might just make out, but Caity said that if they hang out a lot more, maybe they'll do more.'' The next day, Jesse messaged me to say that the hookup never materialized. But I'm guessing it still might happen.'' I first met Jesse online at facethejury.com, one of many Internet sites popular with high-school and college students, where teenagers can post profiles, exchange e-mail and arrange to hook up.

In her New England exurban world, where, I was told, oral sex is common by eighth or ninth grade, and where hookups may skip kissing altogether, Kate's predicament strikes her friends, and even herself, as bizarre.

'' It's retarded,'' she says, burying her head in Caity's shoulder.

'' Even my mom thinks it's weird.'' Just a few weeks ago, Caity and Kate met a cute boy at the mall.

'' Me and Kate walked into this store,'' Caity says, ''and this boy saw the shirt Kate was wearing that says, ' Kiss Me, I'm an Amoeba.' So he was, like, ' That's an awesome shirt.' And she was, like, ' Want me to make you one?

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